There I Find Delight: Psalm 119:1-8 | home | Losing the Lost

August 5, 2004

What do you view is the wife’s position in the household?

Sorry if this is something you disagree with, but I must be true to what I’m told in God’s Word (the bible). I do not expect non-christians to understand, let alone agree with, what I’m explaining here, but your comments (when civil) are welcome. I need to be able to defend my position or evaluate the validity of that position through open dialogue.

Before I begin, I want to reiterate the fact that I think very highly of women and do not feel they are incapable in any way. Obviously, I expect some resistance and some may not see my points clearly. If I miscommunicate any idea or explanation, then I need to clarify myself. My goal in this post is not to convert, but to explain what I believe. If you disagree, but understand my position, then I will be satisfied. That said…I’ll start with some groundwork.

Genesis 2:18-23. Here we learn about the creation of woman and her relationship to man. Notice that Eve is taken from Adam’s side (rib) and thus, she is comparable to him, not subservient or lesser. Also understand that the word for helper is the same word used to describe the Holy Spirit’s relationship to Christ Jesus (two parts of the triune God or Trinity)

Eph. 5:22-33. This describes how a man should treat his wife. A man must nourish and cherish his wife. Here, God also calls men to be the heads of their families (which is an awesome responsability). It is not the same as being the boss but rather being the leader who builds up the family, both spiritually and communally.

Proverbs 31, These verses describe the qualities of a good woman. What is most notable is that she is never described as a slave or subservient. She is a productive, supportive part of the family – a ‘helper suitable’ for her husband.

The quick and easy answer is that a husband and wife or a team, “the two shall become one”. Every team has it’s parts or responsibilities and in a marriage the man is called to be the leader and the woman is to be the helper. Since words can be vague, this relationship is more like the President and Vice President than a store manager and a mop boy. I think everybody can recognise that a team cannot have two leaders. Scripture tells us that the role of leader falls on the husband. Unfortunately, most of us men are lazy and want to abdicate that role. You’ll also notice that women often try to take charge in a relationship. These are both tied to the curse (the whole Garden of Eden thing) and are considered sin. Sin means to fall short of the mark, and the mark is perfection as described by God. Simply put, we do the opposite of what God commands us to do because we are sinful – not, we are sinful because we do the opposite of what God commands (see the difference?)

Where most people seem to get hung up on this idea is how they see this used in everyday life. Often, men will try to keep their wives down rather than step up to the plate themselves. Remember, the bible never says all men are above every woman. It only says a man is head over his wife. If your wife is a better leader than you, then you need to step up and be the leader she needs you to be. She can’t be a helper to someone who is not as strong a leader as she is. You both need to be equally yoked. A strong woman needs a stronger man. A strong man needs a strong helper. If the difference in strength is too great, the woman can’t support her husband and he can’t lead to his full potential.

So does this mean a woman can’t work? Not exactly. This relationship is designed for the family, not the workplace. It is not wrong for me to have a woman boss. Many woman are better leaders than me and are not suitable helpers for me. They on the other hand, (as christians) need strong husbands to function as the leaders within their family.

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2 comments

  • At 2:37 pm on October 4, 2005, Anonymous commented:

    Hey Archshrk, This is Talondale. Good post. I have to agree with you on this. Although women can be affective teachers and speakers, Elizabeth Elliot and Beth Moore, I don’t think they should hold positions of authority in the Church or positions of teaching over men. I would point out that the motive is symbolic in nature and involves the different roles assigned to men and women, and part of the curse in the garden of Eden, not a reflection of the worth or abilities of women.

    [Reply]

  • At 2:39 pm on October 4, 2005, Anonymous commented:

    Hi! The problem I see is that quite often there is not enough spiritual MEN leaders in the church today.

    And agreeable there are many women who could lead.

    What is this saying for the men?
    What is this saying for our world?

    Hmm.

    [Reply]

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