I think this number is a little low.
So often in life we look for hope and inspiration in the stories from scripture. We look at our own lives and try to find understanding by identifying with those people who loved God and found redemption and meaning in Him. Unfortunately, we most often identify with the wrong person.
We tell unbelievers that they, like the prodigal son will be accepted by the father despite their rebellion and wickedness, yet we forget that we, like the older brother have already been accepted and are loved.
We like to think that we would recognize Jesus and love Him even in our darkest hours yet, very often, we spit on Him when we need Him most.
When other believers reject us, do we faithfully and humbly believe in God or do we see our faith as a tool or weapon to get our way.
I’ve been seeing myself in this new light, that my relationship with God and others is constantly hindered by my own sinful nature. Where I should be loving, I’m judgmental. Were I should be patient, I’m aggressive. Were I need to repent and confess my sin, I point out the faults of others (real or imagined). I even recently “attacked” another blogger for basically not pleasing me in my blog-reading needs. As if anyone should write a BLOG for the benefit of others.
I immediately wrote a personal apology but doubt it will count for much.
My intentions were good (not that that counts for much) but my words were very harsh and even derogatory. What I realized was that I spoke from my heart, but my heart was in the wrong place. She called me on it and shamed me for it. I’ve been sick to my stomach ever since reading her response. I should have heeded the words from a recent post.
A soft answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Oh, the hypocrisy. I say be kind and then I attack. I say love, and then I am mean. I say be honest, and then I lie to your faces.
Scripture tells us that we are a new creation in Christ but that doesn’t keep us from sin. It only causes us to see our sin more clearly and brings us to repentance. We are being sanctified in Him but we will not be holy until we are freed from our sinful bodies and are reconciled with the Father in Heaven.
there’s so much more I want to say but right now it would be nothing more than scattered thoughts. Expect more as I wrestle with these issues and share my thoughts in more cohesive ways. Also, you can expect a short break while I re-evaluate my priorities and my heart. Until then, go read something from my blog roll.