From the Inbox

  • Talk about calling the wrong number 12.03.12

    So I have two Google Voice accounts. One for personal and one for “work” (aka job hunting) and that means the work number never gets any calls since I never gave it out to anybody. Yet despite that fact, I have received this morning – don’t worry, they go straight to voicemail so nobody woke […]

  • 77% isn’t bad – whatever that means 14.10.11

    Got this via my contact form (which BTW is almost always spam – always). I only have one question for this person which I’ll ask at the end… Archshrk.com Team, I thought you might like to know some of the reasons why you are not getting enough Social Media and Organic search engine traffic for […]

  • Vending Violence 17.12.10

    Something a little lighter from the inbox than the last post to keep you from getting too depressed… Happy Holiday’s Fellow WORKidians, Due to increasingly violent instances of assault and battery upon our vending machine, we will no longer be able to include bags of chips as snack option. Rocking the machine to loosen your […]

  • Good (supplemental) Health to You…you’ll need it 27.05.10

    Some people will do anything for their health. Others will sell you anything to improve it. While this may seem to be an ideal situation, the reality is far from it. The methods, claims and results of a large number of supplements is reminiscent of snake oil salesmen of the 1930’s. While it’s true that […]

  • Finally, a purpose for the Apple iPad 29.04.10

    From Days of Wonder – Small World for Apple iPad (via email newsletter) The new Apple iPad – the first truly intimate interactive device… Small World for iPad – the first interactive board game designed specifically to deliver the face-to-face gaming experience that you love! Small World for iPad is the first digital adaptation of […]

  • False Alarm 28.04.10

    The fire alarms are a false alarm. Apparently someone on the 5th floor tripped the alarm. Building management has advised us to stay on alart at our own discretion. This was a message sent to us by our receptionist shortly after two fire alarms this morning. Spelling aside, I’m not really sure what it means. […]

  • Piss Off! 24.12.09

    I hate liars and I try not to use the word “hate” very often. After all, scriptures tells us “Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer” but the liars I’m thinking of are not my brothers (or sisters) but deceivers and are “of [their] father the devil”. So I guess it’s OK to hate […]

  • SPAM 27.10.09

    This is spam (my apologies to anyone named Chris Hutchinson). I would like to start out with saying I’m sorry about yesterdays server outage. It certainly caused a ton of headaches on our end but we did not expect the response we received. I have included yesterdays offer as well as letting you know that […]

  • They Might Be Giants on Tour! 27.08.09

    ON SALE NOW OR SOON! Boise, Denver, Salt Lake City, Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, San Diego, Philadelphia, Washington DC, Boston, New York, Raleigh, Ithaca, Albany, Detroit, St. Louis, Chicago, Indianapolis, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Kutztown, Brooklyn, Minnneapolis, Queens Click here for dates and ticket info! We went to their show when pregnant with Corbin, makes sense to […]

  • Brother, can you spare a card reader? 21.07.09

    With the widespread use of digital cameras, the need to download those priceless memories is becoming an everyday thing. Most cameras come with a USB cable so you can download from the camera to your computer. But for many of us, that means remembering where you put that damn cable and inserting it into that […]

  • Adam Lambert – go home 07.05.09

    Got this email from our office manager… Tomorrow morning, Adam Lambert (a finalist on American Idol) will be at the radio station across the street at 8:00 AM. Lambert will arrive via police escort. The station is inviting people to come down and see him . . . for what it is worth. . . […]

  • H.R. 1913 is not anti-christian 21.04.09

    You may have received an email similar to this one… Persecution today announced that there is a measure before Congress (H.R. 1913) that will effectively make it a hate crime to call homosexuality a sin. It also will make it a hate crime to call Islam a “False Religion.” Write to you congressman (or woman) […]

  • Small World by Days of Wonder 12.03.09

    Board game makers, Days of Wonder, are introducing a fun, light-hearted civilization game in which players vie for conquest and control of a board that is simply too small to accommodate them all! This newest Days of Wonder game features a zany cast of characters such as dwarves, wizards, amazons, giants orcs and even humans! […]

  • My Facebook Friends 02.03.09

    Got this email at work…. Personal Message To You From your friends at facebook video server: Subject: ” Review – My family invite you out for lunch, don’t hesitate!” Read Description for a link to part 1 Original Video added by group member. You will see a link to Open Your Personal Message Manager. Selecting […]

  • Gmail Browser title bar tweaks 25.02.09

    This may not be important to you, but since a lot of people use Gmail but don’t read the Gmail blog, I thought I’d pass this on. Official Gmail Blog: New in Labs: Browser title bar tweaks Basically, Title Tweaks changes the order of the elements in the browser title bar to put the more […]

  • Where’s Waldo 06.02.09

    This picture was taken with a robotic camera and weighs in at 1,474 megapixel. (295 times the standard 5 megapixel camera). It was a Canon that pulled together over 200 individual shots. Each zoom in takes a second to focus …and then you can see some amazing reactions. With these cameras the secret service has […]

  • Snow go bye-bye 22.12.08

    Got this email this morning from my dad… Last night we went to bed with snow still on the ground in the back yard and still on the roofs of the houses. This morning we woke up to high winds and all the snow was gone. Even the snow on “our” mountain is mostly gone. […]

  • Santa’s Visit Application 15.12.08

    Please Note: You better not pout, you better not cry, you better be good, I’m telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to town, and he hasn’t got much time. To assist in the efficient processing of all children’s requests please fill in this form clearly and truthfully because, he does know. Santa’s Visit Application

  • T?was the month before Christmas 12.12.08

    T?was the month before Christmas When all through our land, Not a Christian was praying Nor taking a stand. See the PC Police had taken away, The reason for Christmas – no one could say. The children were told by their schools not to sing, About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things. It […]

  • CHRISTIANS, MISSIONARIES in INDIA 12.11.08

    Recently received in my inbox. Regardless of your feelings about Christians, persecution and violence is wrong. Dear beloved sponsors and friends of Good News India. We have never seen anything like this. We knew that Orissa was the most resistant and hostile State in India as far as the Gospel is concerned. And we brushed […]

  • Prayers for Wendy 20.10.08

    Wendy‘s been in the hospital this past week with high temperatures and just a generally bad reaction to the latest round of chemo. It’s been unseasonably hot and the A/C at the hospital is not working and her mum was putting in long hours sponging off Wendy to try and keep her cool. She said […]

  • In-N-Out’s 60th anniversary hoax 13.10.08

    Though Philippe the Original dipped its prices to mark its 100 years in the sandwich business, California’s beloved drive-through burger chain, In-N-Out, has no plans to follow suit. How did the rumor get started? The Pasadena Star-News takes a look: Call it an Internet hoax, animal style. The rumor that In-N-Out Burger will drop its […]

  • The First Kiss 13.10.08

    It’s your First Kiss and several questions might come to mind: Is it the right time? Is anyone watching? Does your partner even want to? Is your breath fresh? AND—Should you use some tongue? Then you say . . .. ‘What the hey!’ and Just Go for it!! :D

  • What Cartoon Character are you? 17.09.08

    Have you ever asked yourself what cartoon character do you most resemble? Everyone has a personality of a cartoon character. A group of investigators (supposedly) got together and analyzed the personalities of well known and modern cartoon characters. The information that was gathered was made into this test. Answer all the questions (only 10) with […]

  • Cell phones – New Law (2008) 09.06.08

    As previously reported, California is enacting a new hands-free cell phone law that takes effect July 1st, 2008. Below is an interesting email a friend sent me that might help everyone transition to the new law. According to new law that goes into effect July 1, 2008 you will no longer be able to use […]

  • What’s love got to do with it? 30.04.08

    More comment spam for your reading pleasure… Dr. Jim Moris recently visited my site which apparently left him – impotent. I guess the Haunted Car Commercial scared the left him limp. Maybe I should add a disclaimer – “WARNING: this video is known to cause erectile dysfunction in some viewers. Watch at your own risk” […]

  • The SPAM Marketplace 24.04.08

    Much like stocks in the real world, my spam comments fluctuate in value. Recently I noticed a trend where the offers changed depending on the day and time – despite coming from the same address. 73% off for archshrk – Apr 23, 2008 9:30 AM 90% off for archshrk – Apr 23, 2008 2:35 PM […]

  • Meg Ryan is hot? 12.03.08

    Email spam is fun. OK, maybe more die-a-thousand-deaths-you-spamming-pigs but it can be funny. I’ve never been much for porn. As a youth, I saw a few “art films” (wink wink) and even though I was understandably aroused, I never felt satisfied. As I got older, I began to see how degrading (to men) it was […]

  • Cappuccino Coast: The day the Pacific was whipped up into an ocean of froth 20.11.07

    Found this in my inbox. Looks like it’s true so I thought I’d pass it on… Full story and more pictures at Cappuccino Coast: The day the Pacific was whipped up into an ocean of froth | the Daily Mail It was as if someone had poured tons of coffee and milk into the ocean, […]

  • Official Gmail Blog: “M” is for…mute 28.09.07

    Official Gmail Blog: “M” is for…mute Found this very useful. Bill Kee from the Official Gmail Blog had this tip to share. I can think of more than one occasion where this would have been used me and the missus. I use the “m” shortcut key to mute the conversation and spare my inbox. As […]

  • Teach your man to dance 26.09.07

    I probably shouldn’t share this because my wife will see it and get some ideas but it’s too funny not to share. In other news (hey, I’ve been using that line a lot lately) I’ve been getting more fun and inviting emails spam. Lately it’s been job related as in this well written title for […]

  • For the sake of God and humanity give an immediate positive consideration 22.09.07

    With a title like that, who could resist… I could. This was the title to one of my recent spam emails. Or should I say scam emails since they wanted to give me millions of dollars from a secret trust to use for good. Only, I wouldn’t. I’d use it for evil. In related news, […]

  • New Contact Page – Now with more spam 17.09.07

    So I realized recently that my old contact page wasn’t working. And by working, I mean the form didn’t show up anymore. So I quickly did a search for an update but the original author is no more. Not deterred, I turned to the ever-present Google to find a new contact form plugin. I found […]

  • Free food in the kitchen 30.08.07

    Here’s a recent email from our receptionist announcing leftover food in the community kitchen (leftover from a lunch time presentation) Come, scavengers, come……….. I hear you….clicking your email, getting out of your chair….footsteps……… FYI it was Pat and Oscar’s garlic bread sticks – yum!

  • Do you think my bra is too tight. Maybe I shoul… 29.08.07

    Thus begins the email I found in my junk box. Actually, it’s the title in the subject line as I have no idea what was actually in the email. Only an idiot would open an email with a title like that, especially if they found it in their spam filter. But the title was enough […]

  • Dr Seuss Theology 27.08.07

    More theology by Dr. Seuss… I Am I Am Exodus 3:14, in the style of “Dr. Seuss” by W. Alan Froggatt Dr. Seuss Learns Greek Got this from Tyler Williams who got it from someone at Regent College And finally, James W. Kemp’s The Gospel According to Dr. Seuss. Kemp finds parallels between the actions […]

  • What’s my line 22.08.07

    If you haven’t noticed, I like to post fun videos on my site from time to time. Now I don’t make them and they’re usually something someone else found first. Occasionally, I’ll post a video for a song. When I do that, I like to include the lyrics because you can’t always understand the singer. […]

  • Free Speach for Christians 06.08.07

    A pastor that is currently in the approval process for sponsorship is going to be facing significantly greater persecution. Pastor Nonoy from Philippines is planting churches in the Buddhist nation of Cambodia. He started his ministry by establishing an English language school to get contacts in the community and evangelize. In the last 5 years […]

  • I’ve shut the door on China 10.07.07

    I didn’t want to do it but let’s be honest…nothing good comes out of China these days. Actually, that’s not being very fair. The problem is that I’m getting a lot of spam comments and the URL for the commenter(s) is always something-random.something-with-car-name.cn (the domain for China). It wouldn’t bother me if it was getting […]

  • spammers are adapting 19.06.07

    The following message was caught by my amazing comment spam filter (akismet) and I was all ready to mark it not spam (or at least follow the author’s link) but then I was suspicious… This is the second time I?ve gotten a message, supposedly from this site, stating ?you have a private message?. There is […]

  • Interview with J.R. Cook 25.05.07

    I was looking through my web stats and realized that there are some unanswered questions out there regarding the Wii Weight Loss Plan. Since JR and I are such good friends (it’s me, archshrk, from the intank forums. arch-shrk. a-r-c-h-…) Haha, I made a funny. Anyway, I thought it would be cool to do a […]

  • Cousin dating is, is not okay 23.04.07

    So says Fatal Beauty in a recent comment. Luckily I was able to salvage it from the akismet spam filter before losing it to the internet abyss. I wanted to comment on it more but nothing more really needs to be said. I mean, how do you add to perfection? The beauty (or horror) of […]

  • Voice of the Martyrs 12.04.07

    PAKISTAN Five Christians Charged with Blasphemy ? VOM Sources Five Christians have been charged with blasphemy under Pakistan’s blasphemy laws 295-A and 295-C, in Toba Tek Singh, Pakistan. Daniel, an 11-year-oldChristian boy, refused to play with his Muslim friends, resulting in them beating him. When Daniel’s family confronted the attackers, the Muslims called the police […]

  • Fun with Google 11.04.07

    1. Go to google.com. 2. Click on Maps. 3. Click on Get Directions. 4. From: New York, New York. 5. To: Paris, France. 6. Then, read line #21. 7. Laugh.

  • 10 flagrant grammar mistakes 09.04.07

    If you want to craft an error-free message that reflects your professionalism, be on the lookout for these common grammatical slip-ups These days, we tend to communicate via the keyboard as much as we do verbally. Often, we’re in a hurry, quickly dashing off emails with typos, grammatical shortcuts (I’m being kind here), and that […]

  • Easter Humor 05.04.07

    Q: What do you call rabbits that marched in a long sweltering Easter parade? A: Hot, cross bunnies. A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the Bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his […]

  • World Wide Lootery agent 28.03.07

    Truth in advertising? I happened to catch this one in my spam-box before deleting it. I guess they buy lottery tickets for you at a slight fee and pay you the winnings in the unlikely event there ever are any. What stuck me was how appropriate this subject line was. I mean, of all the […]

  • Styx Trinket 12.03.07

    I don’t know what it is but I want it. I think the spammers are not so random after all. They are clearly targeting me as a consumer with an unhealthy obsession for all things STYX related. They know that I could not resist an email with a subject line about a styx trinket. With […]

  • Gentle Reminder 14.02.07

    The guy who runs our print room sent this email yesterday. If you know Aunt Leona and Loretta. Are friends with Mutzy, Kathy, and Arlene and Joan Kraft and hail from Milwaukee the 56 page history of your family, in glorious, 15 cent per click living color is available for pick up at my desk. […]

  • I don’t want their love 31.01.07

    Max Barnes writes to tell me “She will love you more than any other guy” But I don’t want any other guy to love me. Over a several millions men have been helped with the potent ingredients in Pen-is [mightier than the sword] Growth Patch – men have experienced bigger size, deeper penetration more action, […]

  • Butt I didn’t do it 17.01.07

    Another gem from the Inbox. Dear Tenants, We were made aware today that cigarette butts are being deposited in the building’s out-going mailbox. This is a Federal offense not to mention a huge fire hazard. Please assist us in advising all employees and visitors that smoking is allowed in designated areas on campus, which is […]

  • Grand Canyon Skywalk to open March 28, 2007 08.12.06

    Grand Canyon West Announces March 28, 2007 As The Official Public Opening Of The Skywalk Rollout And ?First Walk? Events Also Scheduled 818 LAS VEGAS ? December 8, 2007 ? Grand Canyon West, a destination owned and operated by the Hualapai Tribe at the Grand Canyon?s western rim, announces March 28, 2007 as the official […]

  • 20 ways to make yourself the least popular person in the room 06.12.06

    ‘Tis the season for love, cheer and goodwill toward men. So they say. The reality is that expectations are unattainably high — for mood, for behavior, for warm, fuzzy family togetherness, for the joy and wonder we’re supposed to feel and spread all around. For most folks, that’s more than a tall order — it’s […]

  • Child with Leukemia in Need of Help 05.12.06

    A public service announcement: I would like to ask for help to further our efforts in finding a Bone Marrow Donor for Harrison Leonardo. Harrison Leonardo, a two-year old boy who lives in the San Francisco Bay Area. His father, OJ Padua Leonardo, is a San Francisco Fire Department firefighter. His mother, Stephanie Isaacson, is […]

  • You Need a Bettre Degree 29.11.06

    Sometimes, spam just speaks volumes without saying very much. You Need a Bettre Degree,{} and we can Help! Hello Archshady!!. Honetsly are no enforecd tests, classes, books, or interviews ! Get _aBachelors, Masters., MBA, and Doctorate (PhD) diploma. Sceure the profit and respect_that come swith a.diploma ! No person is rejecetd Prviacy guranteed Reach Right […]

  • Two for Turkey 16.11.06

    Good news folks, we’re haveing two more people over for Thanksgiving. My good friends have agreed to come join us for dinner this year and boy am I looking foraward to it. Here’s an exerpt from the email below. I think you’ll agree they too, are overcome with excitement. They can hardly contain themselves as […]

  • 6 reasons not to mess with children. 14.11.06

    A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a […]

  • Brain Strain 01.11.06

    1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends. 2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward? 3 Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be […]

  • RaJ’s test for comment spambots 21.10.06

    Recently, Raj posted about his experience with crafty spambots who leave comments on your posts in hopes of getting more traffic to their wesites. Historically, these comments have been pretty generic with such comments as “free online casino” and “hot asian models” much like you’d find in your inbox, so it wasn’t too difficult to […]

  • Vote yes on Prop 1D 09.10.06

    The one in which archshrk gets political… I work for an architectural firm who’s primary work is in the Education and Healthcare markets. So it’s typically a good idea for me to vote yes on any California proposition that provides money for school and hospital construction. That being said, I hope you’ll vote yes as […]

  • Our Store is Your Cureal 04.10.06

    If your like me (and who isn’t) you’ve probably gotten your share of spam email. Typically these offer better performance, replica watches or cheap software. There is the occasional Spamlib but one of the most perplexing spam emails is the one titled “Our store is your cureal”. Now you know better than to open the […]

  • archscoundrel 29.09.06

    One of the latest spam trends I’ve noticed is how the spam sender’s email looks strangely familiar. Can you see why? archscoundrel archspirit archtaxpat archseducer archsteward archtraitor archstantonmusic At least these spammer’s don’t use Spamlibs to generate their messages.

  • My Dear Child 27.09.06

    You may not know me, but I know everything about you. (Psalm 139:1) I know when you sit down and when you rise up. (Psalm 139:2) I am familiar with all your ways. (Psalm 139:3) Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. (Matthew 10:29-30) For you were made in my image. (Genesis 1:27) […]

  • A Slice of Heaven 14.09.06

    A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to […]

  • In the Beginning 24.08.06

    In the beginning, God created heaven and earth. Shortly thereafter God was in receipt of a notice to show cause why he shouldn’t be cited for failure to file an environmental impact statement. He was granted a temporary planning permit for the project, but was stymied by a Cease and Desist Order for the earthly […]

  • What’s your Emergency 07.07.06

    143 Got this email from the front desk today: FYI – The police department has been calling telling us they have been receiving 911 calls from the fax machines. PLEASE NOTE WE DO NOT NEED TO DIAL 9 BEFORE SENDING OUT A FAX. Watch this copier maintenance video for more office space tips.

  • Video Post – They?re Made Out Of Meat 03.06.06

    RadioactiveJam sent this to me (because of this post) and I thought it worth sharing with you. Read the original short story SETI Fiction: They?re Made Out Of Meat

  • Take the Son 20.04.06

    A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works of art. When the conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing […]

  • Happy Easter, Bunny 14.04.06

    “My butt hurts” “What?”

  • A Deck of Cards 04.04.06

    Another one From the Inbox It was quiet that day, the guns and the mortars, and land mines for some reason hadn’t been heard. The young soldier knew it was Sunday, the holiest day of the week. As he was sitting there, he got out an old deck of cards and laid them out across […]

  • Kermit needs the Money 09.02.06

    A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. “Miss Whack, I’d like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.” Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his […]

  • San Diego Rock-N-Roll Marathon 24.01.06

    A plea for help from my inbox. I encourage you to help any way you can… Hello! As you probably know, October 24,2005 I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy: Ethan Luke Denly. Ethan is now 3 months old and beginning to sleep more consistently at night. With this change I have gained a […]

  • When is email NOT spam? 09.12.05

    Even though some of these “facts” are not true the point is still valid. See the comments for related “facts”. From the inbox… In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke, it’s not funny, it’s intended […]

  • Blog Archives for WordPress 30.11.05

    Sharing more conversations from the inbox… Have you considered using an archive feature on your site? I’ve attached narchives.php and with a little tweeking you can easily make an archive page like mine. It’s user-friendly and makes it easier for Search Engine Spiders to crawl your site. The install is really simple. Just copy the […]

  • T’was the night after Thanksgiving 17.11.05

    Got this today via email. I think I’ll start a new catagory called “From the Inbox” just for the email items I re-post here. Anyway, enjoy this little holiday post. T’was the night after Thanksgiving… I just couldn’t sleep, I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep. The leftovers beckoned – the dark meat and […]

  • How to Recognize a Stroke 27.09.05

    This might be a lifesaver if you can remember the following advice, sent by a nurse, whose husband is a medical doctor. Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. A stroke victim may suffer permanent brain damage when people fail to recognize what’s happening. Now, doctors say any bystander can recognize a stroke, […]

  • What good are you? 20.09.05

    From my inbox – As she laid in a lounge chair by the motel pool, a woman, thin and weak from cancer held up a common latex glove. We watched as she struggled to sit up a little. She had been going to a cancer clinic as a day patient and this was Sunday, the […]

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